Longings and Babette’s Feast: Part 5
A Longing Fulfilled, A Longing UnFulfilled
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.—Proverbs 13:12
My heart was no longer sick, but alive, effervescent, like a toddler on espresso. At times out of control, hard to harness and discipline, I nevertheless let the toddler do what toddlers do best—play.
At the end of my fourth decade, my circumstances changed, and I enrolled in my first art and writing classes. At the end of my fifth decade, I published a poetry chapbook. I learned to draw and paint, experimenting in several mediums, and developed a decent photography portfolio. I began exhibiting, winning or placing in local art competitions.
Immersed in the arts and writing on a personal level, I realigned ministry to concentrate in the arts, among artists. Beginning in France, where I lived, I continued with classes and the arts community until I relocated to the US to join a mission agency pioneering arts ministry—ArtsLink.
For years, I led artist teams overseas, working with local churches and artists. We engaged creative gifts to heal, ignite hope, and restore the imagination. We helped facilitate the reintegration of the arts and artists into the church.
When a Longing is Fulfilled
God was answering the longing Babette’s Feast had evoked in me in my 30s. He didn’t intend me to languish in despair but to create. Waiting ten or twenty years was not what I expected, but in the waiting, I was enlarged, matured, and shaped. I found the tree of life—the abundant life Jesus promised. Creative projects flowed like sap in the strength and energy of a longing fulfilled. I had never known such joy and energy.
When Longings Aren’t Fulfilled
It would be cruel to leave the impression we will always have every longing fulfilled. Too many people have died with desires unfulfilled. I expect to go to the grave myself with some longings unfilled but trusting God to wipe away every tear. In our broken world, under the control of the evil one, could it be otherwise?
We may have to fight for our desires, surrender some, or wait forty years. God will gently let us know when to let go. When we surrender our longings, we can rest in God’s word—He will fulfill His purposes for us (Psalm 138:8).
In the meantime, I choose to fight until the fight is over. My prayers alternate between Jacob’s “I will not let you go till you bless me” to Jesus’s prayer, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours.”
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
We will benefit from God’s sovereign purposes, even if that future is in heaven.